Gloriously Ordinary Sundays - 14th July 2024
Quick one this week before Gloriously Ordinary Sundays heads on holiday for a couple of weeks.
I’ve talked lots with people over the last few weeks about Test Three – the photo test and digging deeper than what you see. I’ve talked before about the fact that whether or not something makes a great photo is in the eye of the beholder – one person’s heart sing is another person’s nightmare. But what has been coming up lots is the importance of considering the story behind the photo – that thing we rarely do when scrolling through photos on social media. We see what we perceive to be the facts:
Cute kitten
Perfect family
Amazing night out
Great food
Loved up couple
Test Three asks you to dig a bit deeper and look beyond the 2D of the photo into the 3D world behind it.
As I was thinking about writing this, the first mental image that popped into my head was an event I facilitated probably 15 years ago in Lambeth. There were about 100 people there and we were co-designing some work as part of the Collaborative. I was having a tough time, desperately trying to hold things together and stay out of psychiatric hospital. I would have been lovingly advised by friends, family and professionals to take some time off, but part of my coping strategy (for good or ill) was to KEEP GOING. I remember receiving amazing feedback that day, with people thanking me for the great facilitation. As the last person left, I remember sinking to the floor and crying. The friend and colleague I had been working with said, ‘Not a single person in that room apart from me knows what that cost you’. You could have taken plenty of mental images, and there will be real ones from the day somewhere. I challenge you to see in those photos what was really going on in my head – you needed to know the story.
Sometimes it’s more obvious if you look closely at a photo. I talked with one group last week about what people’s eyes tell us – the smile that doesn’t reach the eyes if you look closely enough. But sometimes you just have to get curious and find out the story.
Humour me, but it's easiest to illustrate with cats as people are less keen to have their lives exposed.
Charlie and Maddie were my rescue kittens nearly nine years ago. They’d been found with their brother in a field at about 12 weeks old and were feral. I took them on from the local cat rescue, smug in my ability to socialise even the wildest of kittens. Not these two. They mainly accept my offer of bed and breakfast, and the odd stroke while they are bribed with a small amount of wet food twice a day (on top of the healthy dried stuff), but that’s it. I can’t pick either of them up and they certainly don’t entertain sitting on my lap.
So, what about the backstories of these two photos, taken earlier this afternoon?
Charlie cat
At face value, that is a happy cat, sunning herself on the patio. You also need to know that 3 weeks into her new home, this is the first time Charlie has lain still where people can see her. She currently only comes out when I’m not around or for food. Part of the back story is that getting her into the cat carrier to move to the new place wasn’t a good experience for either of us and it’s going to take a while for her to get back even the little bit of trust she has in me.
Maddie cat
Those of you who speak even a bit of cat will read the tilt of the ears in this photo. Maddie was less traumatised by the move than Charlie, but she was still not happy. Her coping strategy has been to discover a talent for catching mice, and I’ve had one brought to me every day for the past week. This photo was taken just after she puked up the remains of the last mouse, so she’s probably feeling a bit ropey. I know that she usually prefers to sleep on the garden sofa that is under that black tarpaulin she’s lying on, so something is amiss.
The Girl
I couldn’t resist this one of The Girl. It was taken about 6 months after she came to live with us. At first stereotype, you might think that it’s an autistic child focused on/enjoying the rhythm of a washing machine cycle. The vital backstory is that she had a small stuffed toy she’d got as part of a Happy Meal on a visit with her Dad. It was called ‘Chicken’ and she needed it with her all of the time, using it to stim and chat to. This photo was taken shortly after Chicken accidentally got dropped in the toilet and was having an emergency wash. She sat in front of the machine for the full cycle whispering ‘Chicken’ at regular intervals.
There, that indulged my love of a good cat, and reminiscing about good times with the kids …and hopefully ignited your curiosity to look for the story behind that wonderful photo – real or mental image.
You might try this on social media too…
PS. Did you see? The Gloriously Ordinary Sundays Podcast episode six is here - Being part of something: three different voting experiences on election day. This episode’s guest is The Boy. He shares why voting matters to him. I also share The Girl's voting experience on election day, and my own.